a close-to-home rant

October 15, 2010 § Leave a comment

I used to work for the M-Den, a haven for University of Michigan ultra-fans obsessed with the latest and greatest gear and gadgetry, from overpriced rain jackets to replica helmets to baby socks–the M-Den had it all for its dedicated football fans.  This may seem unusual, given that I have a passionate hatred for all things associated with U of M football.  Despite my Ann Arbor upbringing and close association with the University throughout my early formative years, there is nothing anyone can do or say to make me consider the football program anything other than intolerable.

Here’s why I can’t stand football season at U of M:

1. Starting at 8:00am on Home game Saturdays, you can say goodbye to the bliss of sweet, uninterrupted sleep, because that’s when the dedicated fans start their cantankerous partying, drinking, and cheering.

2. Throughout the day on Saturday, prepare to be accosted regularly by random drivers, bikers, students, children, babies, students, repairmen, shopclerks, and EVERY SINGLE OTHER HUMAN BEING for not bedecking yourself out completely in garish maize and blue in order to better support the fellow wolverines.

3. If you are trying to accomplish other important tasks during the day, such as homework, studying for an exam, writing a ten-page paper, or perhaps running an errand that tragically coincides with the time of the game, say goodbye to all efficient use of time because the ungodly traffic, constant rush of crazed fans through the streets, the noise of loud cries and shouts permeating the air, and the occasional outburst of rage and indignation hurled your way while walking by a fraternity at the inopportune moment of another Wolverine mishap on the field.

Really, no one else cares if you need to do something other than unequivocally and devotedly watch a football game whose outcome has little importance in everyone’s daily life.

Okay I feel better now :)


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